If Aliens and Deep Star Six had a stylish baby, it would be this movie.

 

A clip from Underwater the 2020 movie

 

Here’s the one line synopsis: Mechanical Engineer Norah Price (played by Kristin Stewart, looking quite lovely in her buzz cut) must make her way out of a slowly disintegrating deep sea drilling station, seven miles under the ocean, without being eaten by mysterious creatures that have come out of the Mariana Trench. I’m not going to talk about her character arc, or the movie’s pacing, or any of that, because I want to get to the super awesome amazing fabulous monster that terrorizes the rig.

SPOILER ALERT!*** The design of the monster is a big reveal.

spoiler alert2

When the team discovers the first monster eating into a dead body, they bring it back to the lab and examine it for clues. In a nutshell, it looks like a pink tentacle nub with half a face and hooked barbs. Then we get the scene turn that I never tire of.

“Wait. I think this is just a baby.”

Because the team has never seen a monster movie, they venture out of the station and walk across the ocean floor to reach another pod. It’s dark. It’s terrifying. And boom!  They meet humanoid creepy eyeless water golems that really hate anyone wearing fancy space suit scuba gear. These are your standard Creature of the Black Lagoon types, hostile for no apparent reason and rather sneaky.

creature from black lagoon

The choice to make them humanoid is an interesting one. Maybe they’re our shadowy doppelgangers of the deep. Maybe they represent our ID, hiding there in the dark, waiting for the next tasty bit to come by. For me they underline the film’s theme—what we do to nature may one day destroy us.  When you’re being punished for the terrible things you do, it’s fitting that monster that shows up at your front door looks a lot like you.

In the last moments of the film, you get to see what’s really been damaging the station. The humanoid predators that have been picking off members of the team are really the parasites of a larger creature. That’s right, a full on Godzilla-sized monster. When the humanoid creatures sleep, they cling to the mother ship, hanging like bats, or like really creepy streamers at the worst underwater birthday party ever.

As monster designs go, this one gets a five kraken rating.  It also reminds me how much Lovecraft’s stories have affected monster makers over the years. I don’t have an image of the Underwater monster yet, but this image of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu will give a general idea.

cthulhu

I’m guessing this is one of the reasons some critics thought the movie was derivative. Or maybe they thought the design took too much from the Cloverfield monster and all its little monsterlings. But honestly, I’m a bit tired of critics trying to find any reason not to like a movie. It looks too much like Cthulhu. No, it doesn’ t look enough like Cthuthlu. Make it smaller. People like small. No, bigger. Really big! Woah, not that big.

With a 52% on Rotten Tomatoes, this movie didn’t do as badly as the January placement would suggest. Will it one day inspire a rollercoaster at a Disney Park? I certainly hope not, what with all the falling concrete and implosions. But more than half the people who saw Underwater liked it, and that includes me. In fact, I think I found a new monster to include in my top five.